PUTTING OUT FIRES...

Having an elderly parent who wants to stay in their home creates many challenges especially when falling begins. Dad had been able to hide some falls but bruises told us otherwise. 

I admit there was great relief for us offspring when Dad uttered the words " I hate to admit it but I need someone in the house with me." We filled in the am's and nights with 3 aides and my brother and I filled in weekends and some daytime shifts. 

Those dear souls have lasted a lot longer than we could have imagined. Part is due to Dad becoming more docile and he did want the help and company, but as you know you can't really buy company. 

Caregiving is anything but easy and we knew our expectations had to be appeased just knowing someone was in the house with him.

 It seems putting out fires is just part of caregiving (and yes they could have been the kind started on the stovetop)

Yesterday I encountered a very disgruntled father. Apparently he had awakened in the wee hours, gotten up, wandered a bit calling out

  "Hello,  hello is anyone there, am I alone?" more than once but the aide on duty was out like a light and didn't respond.

When the young aide did awaken, a conversation ensued by Dad. Now, we as his kids know when my Dad wants to make a point, one listens. He wanted help for safety sake and he was afraid. But his favorite young male aide had fallen out of his graces as he was unapologetic, stating he needed sleep during his 13 hour shift and could sleep whenever he wanted. To say this stance didn't go over well would be an understatement. 

Dad had all night to stew on it.

Time to put on the firefighter hat...

I listened and texted both the aide and copied his note and subequent texts to his boss and my brother to keep everyone in the loop. Then, I did something that's not easy for me to do I relinquished responsibility and turned the matter over to those being paid. It was up to them to work out a solution and smooth over ruffled feathers.

Today is a new day. No telling what will/ won't be on that burner. Hopefully the flames are smoldering, if not put out...

HOLIDAY GREETINGS

 

Even if it arrives late I've decided to compose that annual season's greeting letter.  Besides having a new address, the mailbox needs a use besides for bills and advertising. I'd advise those who usually receive one to not hold your breath because Balto and I need to take a pic together too. 

With the internet the poor mailman really would like to feel needed and appreciated. I can help the post office out by buying stamps so maybe I'll complete this task by Three Kings Day.

There'll also be info re: plans for Irv's stone setting and Celebration of Life which we are aiming for Sunday, May 15th with hopes of warmer weather and healthier times.

                     In the meanwhile Happy Holidays! 

Thank you for all your words of support throughout 2020 and 2021..

MONDAY's MUSING: THE HOLIDAY SOCIAL CALENDAR

I don't know about your social calendars but mine was full this past weekend. It's a first and much appreciated as this holiday season has been a mixed bag of emotions. 

Perhaps if I share the three days's events you'll see the foggy holiday seasonal picture.

Friday's home cooked dinner was saved for another day as we opted to patronize an upscale restaurant where we were surprised to see an unmasked wait staff  followed by a full comedy joint where my friend and I were also the only folks wearing masks. As much as I loved being able to laugh again there was a damper due to the unmasked crowd.  

Saturday's Holiday Party's invite stated invitees were all folks who had had their boosters. Truly comforting.

 That llama holiday sweater got to be worn...

Sunday afternoon Trinity Episcopal Cathedral's pews were filled with masked congregants for their their beautiful Christmas Letters and Carols program. 

Hopes for the pandemic being behind us are not what's being espoused in the news and increased numbers disprove the false sense of security... Christmas and family reunions are still ahead of us...

FOTO FRIDAY: BLOOMIN' DECEMBER

 

FOTO FRIDAY as the Wisconsin area prepares for 7" of the white stuff, their first significant snow fall it's a balmy day here in the South.

Sorry I just  had to post my view out my childhood home's picture window and what a picture...

It's the second week of December. 

Last week's FOTO FRIDAY

TBT:YOU DON'T JUST LOSE SOMEONE ONCE

For the past 8+ months my actions have been based on the discussions Natureman and I had regarding what I should do once he was no longer around.

Selling the End of the Rainbow Valley, moving closer to family, buying a new home, continuing Jazzercising, finding a book club and joining familiar congregations of former years.

What I didn't forsee was how I wouldn't be able to sit and read a book, how Zooming would continue to be a main source of contact how the radio playing a special song could elicit tears by the third note/ the arrival of the Nation ( a political periodical) would find its place next to the new couch and how terribly lonely nights would be.

Finally a long awaited formed Grief and Loss Support group began on Zoom... and I heard our moderator state what I was experiencing was to be expected. It was all part of the different stages of grieving: denial, anxiety, depression, guilt, fear and anger in no particular order.

I wasn't the only one feeling the loneliness, of wanting to share the latest news and would talk to the absent loved one in the quiet , reaching over to the empty side of the bed, missing a touch, a hug and being loved, having friends avoid talking about the elephant in the room, And above all, not knowing what the future will hold...

Restated was the reminder that grief will always be there because we had a good, loving relationship. I am thankful for those almost 20 years together and our bond.

Here's a photo from last year of Natureman at this holiday time ...

And the words of another grieving that ring so true especially at Holiday time...

"You don't just lose someone once.

You lose them over and over, sometimes many times a day.

When the loss, momentarily forgotten,

creeps up,

and attacks you from behind.

Fresh waves of grief as the realization hits home,

they are gone.

Again.

You don’t just lose someone once,

you lose them every time you open your eyes to a new dawn,

and as you awaken,

so does your memory,

so does the jolting bolt of lightning that rips into your heart,

they are gone.

Again.

Losing someone is a journey,

not a one-off.

There is no end to the loss,

there is only a learned skill on how to stay afloat,

when it washes over.

Be kind to those who are sailing this stormy sea,

they have a journey ahead of them,

and a daily shock to the system each time they realize,

they are gone,

Again.

You don’t just lose someone once,

you lose them every day,

for a lifetime."

MONDAY MUSINGS: UNMASKED

It's been a week since the kiddos returned to their respective homes. The Georgia crew did their drive in a day with an earlier departure as Ms H was up before the break of dawn. The west coasters still had the day in the Rock before their flight.

It sure was quiet after the 6 were gone.  Proof of their visit surrounded me. 

The once packed frig now looked sparse with the dwindling Thanksgivukkah leftovers and the house had gotten a good workout. Ms H had really enjoyed the playground equipment too. 

Reflecting on our 6 days together new holiday memories remain along with a full heart.  We all had exercised caution in using our masks while out in public so we could all be present in good health at this get together.

 

Mask wearing is a small price to pay to protect our loved ones and to ensure all of us can be at our next get-together...

Hope you all will remember to exercise caution as the new COVID variant has already begun to rear its ugly head...

FOTO FRIDAY: GET OFF THE COUCH!

FOTO FRIDAY this week of Chanukah has to do with my 4 legged housemate Balto. You know the Texas rescue dog who returned to the South with me. 

He's awfully confused as the temp was 77 yesterday. 

Seriously, what are his 2 layers of fur supposed to be doing?

As anybody who comes into contact with him knows, don't wear black unless you like the look of dog hair on your clothes. For this very reason Balto is not allowed on the furniture.

But my kids figured out a way to get him on the couch. 

Take a look-

Yep, that's Balto on the couch... 

Only it's a photo blanket, a gift from the Atlanta kids. Pretty clever, I'd say, wouldn't you? 

Congrats Balto this is the only way you are allowed on the couch!