MONDAY MUSINGS: A NAME IS A NAME, IS A NAME/ IS IT?

I 've spoken about middle names before and how my Dad hated his and so he didn't give any of his children a middle name. If we wanted one, I guess we could choose our own. 

'Never even thought about missing a middle name until I was in my preteens and initials all of a sudden had importance as jewelry was initialized and clothing had to have your initials. After much debate I chose Annette( probably due to Annette Funicello- she had so much fun on the beach, she was cute and perky) Mind you, I never changed my name legally but I did have 3 initials.  It was always NMN ( no middle name) for those legal documents.

So where am I going with this? I'm sure my parents toiled over choosing their children's names as much as I did over mine. Names seem to carry meaning with them. There's a dictionary of names for all you expectant parents and lists of the most popular names.

My given name is germanic in origin and means 'strong.' I liked the idea of being strong in character. It was a common name in the 50's when I was born which became really apparent when 2/1000 students I had, had the same first name. I never had a problem with my first name until this past weekend when I discovered my given name carries an entire new meaning. Check it out:  

"Karen is a mocking slang term for an entitled, obnoxious,  middle-aged white woman. Especially as featured in memes, Karen is generally stereotyped as having a blonde bob haircut, asking to speak to retail and restaurant managers to voice complaints or make demands, and being a nagging, often divorced mother from Generation X."

I'm not middle aged nor blonde with a bob, I am divorced and my children and spouse would say I can nag.  I also have been known to ask to see a manager on many an occasion to voice a complaint but not in a nasty way.  My parents taught me to be respectful and treat others with kindness. Entitled? Yes, because I was born in a society that gives white privilege but as in any behavior it is the decision of the individual how they behave. The work is on every person to change an injust system.

Perhaps this is what's so wrong. Most folks don't like being called a racist because that's not how they were taught to behave. Yet, the point is we have to admit, acknowledge our racism when it is called out. That's the first step. Then, it is up to us to make the changes... no matter what your name is... 

Here are some 'Karen' clips :
5 Karen Clips
Kroger Karen
Dallas Karen

FOTO FRIDAY: ROUND 'N ROUND THE MULBERRY BUSH

FOTO FRIDAY needed to happen quickly this week as the flies had just received the news of something new to upon which to feast. Blanca and Bebe, our barn cats have been very busy outside of the barn leaving their work for us to see that they are living up to their adopted category: Working Cats.

It's expected to see caught field mice (no longer scurrying) but Thursday's prize was not a bird / mole / chipmunk either. I haven't seen one of these since when the house was being built fifteen years ago. 

There lying in our front path is quite a prize. Take a look...

Any guess what this is? It's about a foot long sleet, silky fur. The title of this entry is another hint of this childhood rhyme, Round 'n round the mulberrry bush, the monkey chased the _ _ _ _ _ _ .

Yep, the last time we saw a 'weasel' was a white one caught in the chicken coop 15 years ago. This might be the reason another chicken was found dead last week...

No wonder these two were wiped. It's not every day hunting is so demanding.

Last week's FOTO FRIDAY was PEACE AND QUIET

UNAPOLOGETIC

Little did I know how quickly I could be sucked in by a 2019 documentary but its clever intro of "The Pieces I am" was an ever changing photo collage with different paper pieces covering and uncovering different parts of facial photos of the same Black individual.

This individual tells us the listeners that she learned about the power of the word when she learned to read at 3 years old and never stopped reading. Reading had been something forbidden to her Grandfather and since the Bible was the only book in his house, she quips that must have been why he had read it 5 times.

As a preteen her mother had sent her father a message as he was earning money elsewhere playing his violin that she would be with their two daughters leaving on a specific train heading North to Ohio and he should meet be her on that train. A mother's intuition knew her daughters would be in grave danger if she stayed as White boys had been circling and their eye on her. The father did get on the train yet hid for fear of being thrown off. You see the news of emancipation hadn't reached everybody. They landed up in Lorain, Ohio, a steel town on Lake Erie.  Folks worked in the steel mill. Poverty, she adds, was not shameful. 

That photo collage was of Chloe Anthony Wofford Morrison; an editor, essayist, college professor, award winning novelist who we have come to know through her books as Toni Morrison, a 1981 Nobel Prize in Literature recipient.  A strong, articulate, outspoken woman who was the first Black to write about Blacks for Blacks and she was unapologetic. 

Other black authors's writing was for Whites filled with explanations. Morrison's speaks of her first novel Bluest Eye as based on White Gaze, a true story between her and a close childhood friend about the existence of G-d. Her friend had proof G-d did not exist.  For two weeks straight she had prayed to G-d for blue eyes and she still did not have blue eyes. This self loathing of one's skin color is imposed by a racist system controlled by Whites. The receivers of the White Gaze are so damaged they do not even deem themselves lovable...

Morrison says of America's melting pot, "Blacks are the pot and everyone else is inside."  Think about it and the mess we are in today due to our racism. Yes, dialogues are beginning but admitting our racism is the first step in opening up to listening, learning and changing. We all, are lovable.

Toni Morrison left us a wealth of rich language reading in her novels, children's lit, non fiction, short fiction, plays, etc... 

Her novels include: 

The Bluest Eye. 1970. 
Sula. 1973.
Song of Solomon.1977 
Tar Baby. 1981. 
Beloved. 1987.
Jazz. 1992.
Paradise. 1997. 
Love. 2003. 
A Mercy. 2008. 
Home. 2012. 
God Help the Child.

Here is a youtube link to the trailer:THE PIECES I AM

THE SLOWEST OF THE MOVING ARTS

A late afternoon lighter rain provided a chance for me to get outside without the biting bugs interference and do some much needed severe pruning. Some bushes had grown much larger than their descriptions...  Does this look like a smaller variety lilac?

Fifteen years ago my landscape architect brother had gifted us a landscape plan as a housewarming gift including my wish list of native and woodland plants taking into consideration our topography and climate zone. BTW Mother Nature does get the final decision what thrives/doesn't but one can try to control the outcome...

Photo Courtesy of Wikipedia

Last night  Wisconsin Public TV introduced us to Beatrix Cadwalader Jones, a New Yorker born in the late 1800's whose namesake and wealth are why we have the saying " Keeping up with the Joneses." They had a lovely summer home in Reef Point Estate in Mount Desert Island, Maine where as a child Beatrix had fallen in love with plants while playing on the grounds and would dig up the woodland native plants and plant them closer to the house. 

Her love of gardening would grow and through family connections at 20 she would be mentored privately by Charles Sprague Sargent, a botanist and Harvard professor of Horticulture since there was not a formal land planning class. She also wanted to study drafting to scale, elevation rendering and engineering so she went on to Columbia School of Mines. Ms. Jones learned all she could about the use of native plants from studying contemporary U.S. texts and visits to British gardens specifically Gertrude Jekyll who did thematic gardening. 

When she first began her landscape practice in 1895 public works were not available to women so she did private residences. With her Mother and Aunt Edith Wharton's family connections,  her clientele list was impressive including the Rockefellers.  In 3 years she was well known and was one of the American Society of Landscape Association founders ( the only woman) .

In 1913 she married Max Ferrand, "an accomplished Harvard and Yale History professor." He would later ('28) be offered directorship of the Huntington Library in San Marino, California which he couldn't refuse. Since 2 male landscape architects monopolized the West Coast area, Mrs. Ferrand would be the one to commute cross country by 4 day train rides. She would take an assistant with her to work, sending the assistant back before they reached the west coast. 

Beatrix Ferrand's illustrious career included "commissions to design almost 200 gardens for private residences, estates and country homes, public parks, botanic gardens, college campuses, and the White House." An interesting tidbit re:one of the campuses  at Princeton she observed where the students paths and planned the walkways accordingly. As for public parks she felt everyone needed access to a garden ...   

"Only a few of her major works survive: Dumbarton Oaks in Washington, D.C.,the Abby Aldrich Rockefeller Garden on Mount Desert, Maine, the restored Farm House Garden in Bar Harbor, the Peggy Rockefeller Rose Garden at the New York Botanical Garden (constructed after Farrand's death, using her original plans, and opened in 1988), and elements of the campuses of Princeton, Yale, and Occidental."

Dumberton Oaks, a 20 year project with 1200 features, italianate in nature, terraced from formal gardens with garden steps leading down to more natural landscaping as one reached the water feature, the creek. Ferrand kept in constant contact with its owners and would even create and install life sized models in place for them to understand how it would look. She implemented the use of 'rooms' separate gardens with vistas, a focal point,  a glimpse to draw one into the next room. One would walk from a serene Oriental calmness into a garden room bursting with color. 

Ferrand considered "gardening as the slowest moving of the arts."

In her later years after her husband retired they returned to her Reefpoint Estate and concentrated on expanding the gardens there to turn it into a study center. She also sent out informative gardening newsletters. Unfortunately, a terrible wildfire ravaged the area and while the estate was spared, in 1955 the decision was made to 'dismantle' the estate as its upkeep was prohibitive. She distributed plantings to other estates and sold the property. 

Ferrand spent her last 3 years at friends's Garland Farm where she lived in a lovely cottage with her caregiver. She designed their room views with their own gardens of 600 different plants, a more vibrant one for her helper and a cool colored one for herself... Beatrix Farrand passed in 1959 at the age of 86.

Since a picture paints a 1000 words here's a 2 minute clip of some of Beatrix Ferrand's Labor of Love

MONDAY MUSINGS: BUGGED

There are a lot of things that bug me nowadays. Some we have control over and others not so much.  My main peeve now is the number of inconsiderate folks who don't want to be inconvenienced to wear a mask to help prevent the spread of the virus.

One little person who does get it is the youngest of my grands Ms. H. who will be 3 in August.  She took a gift I sent to be used to prevent her bedroom door latch locking and repurposed it. 

  
She's one smart considerate young lady to equip her bear with that latch lock cover which certainly gave her Bubbe a good chuckle.

And speaking of being locked in/ self quarantined it gives one time to improve our living spaces. We do normally spend time on our screened in porch as soon as the temps allow eating, listening to the radio, reading and now zooming... 

Last year you may remember we replaced the fabric screening with metal since the birds had pecked holes in almost every panel with some as big as a quarter. Anybody else have screen issues?

Anyhow, with the new metal screening done it was time for a little decorating with the addition of a rug for our non winter time, new bench cushion and tablecloth all which help make this extra living space a lot cozier and more personal.

After

Before

Color always adds life to a space and now the wall of flower pics has company...  

What locale could be better than one's own screened in porch equipped with a breeze by a ceiling fan to continue our 18th anniversary celebration post a local bike ride yesterday? The new mint pesto recipe made a great summer pasta lunch entree with our fresh goat cheese accompanied by carrot sticks, celery and our first garden radishes...

We're looking forward to enjoying more time on our porch spent not being so bugged ... 

FOTO FRIDAY: PEACE & QUIET

FOTO FRIDAY: Yesterday Natureman suggested a car picnic after the Zoom memorial service of my buddy Sue. Almost 200 folks zoomed in from all over the country to pay their respects-



The late lunch picnic was exactly what was needed. We parked facing the water and ate our lunch as a cool breeze blew through the shade of the trees kept the midday heat away. A very quiet reprieve after a very emotional couple of weeks...

Mississippi backwaters at the northern end of Goose Island 

Have you gifted yourself a change of scenery lately? Where did you choose? 


Brenda & her hubby stole away for a couple of days camping on Madeline Island 











Jennifer & grandson took a walk in the marsh yesterday and if you look closely you will see a heron. Can you spot it?





Jill's taking advantage of being at her family cabin in Michigan on Gun Lake. The cabin's been in her family for 50 years! Wow.

Last week's FOTO FRIDAY: PANDEMIC SHOPPING

MY FRIEND SUE's LEGACY : BE A KIND HUMAN

Who doesn't need a friend like Sue who took on the motto "Be a Kind Human" and creates the t-shirt to match with 3/4 sleeves no less (thank you very much) and then hands out pink noses to anybody who will don them? 

She gave me a bewildered look after I told her she was like a cat.  "You know, I swear you have nine lives." She chuckled and replied "Maybe so."  Sue was determined to fight her  breast cancer with an upbeat attitude and humor. She had projects to finish as a journalist and personal historian while still fighting injustice and finding the good in humanity...

Determination mandated her to continue her role as the First Grandmother EVER with the 'best' and 'greatest' grandchildren in the world who eventually did relinquish some of that kvelling to us other Bubbes, Nanas and Grandmas by creating a FB Kveller (Gushing Rights) Grannie group to share the nachas ( happiness). 

Although we belonged to the same congregation she wasn't into services. So, we didn't really get to know each other until she was recuperating after a double mastectomy in '09 when I dropped off some chicken and matzo ball soup (You know, the Jewish penicillin). Even this past month when her appetite waned, there was still a request for matzo ball soup. But, we shared much more than soup... 

Colleen, Yours Truly, Jodi, Jessica and Sue

We tried out and were cast in a play called 'Pirates of the Chemotherapy.' Its ticket proceeds went to the Norma J. Vinger Cancer Center. There were hours of laughter at rehearsals and overnights at Sue's house during icy winter night practices/ performances since she lived 'in town'. 

Sue was also cheering me on after the play when I participated in St Baldrick's fundraiser and had 12'' of hair chopped off for Locks of Love. As I was there for her when her hair would grow back and then fall out again after chemo and we had the mission of finding the right hat...

In between numerous protest marches both in La Crosse and Madison, we also were right up front to see Obama in Madison after helping to register voters... 

Here's to you Sue!

Just another protest march in Madison!

We shared monthly Saturday mornings at a local coffee shop with a Show 'N Tell group she initiated where folks arrived as strangers and left as friends...

Show & Tell

 Sue attended monthly Rosh Chodesh with me,  and even did a co ed program on the history of La Crosse's Jewish Community... 

Movie night with Rosh Chodesh ( Sue's top left)

Besides history, Sue also loved the stories of movies. We'd frequent either the $5 Tuesday matinee/ Senior Friday movies in addition to the Synagogue's winter movie nights where she was always insightful.  When the movie theater had to be avoided due to her treatments, I 'd go over to watch hours of movies while Herbie, her cat, played with my hair. Even her cat was a character!

Somewhere along the way we morphed into lunch buddies since the kitchen was her least favorite place. So out we went / I would pick something up when she didn't feel like going out... She loved her DQ blizzards! We had annual dates like delivering Meals on Wheels and celebrating each other's birthdays at Famous Dave's Bar-b-/que and their complimentary birthday dessert of bread pudding with fireworks. 

Sue's humorous attitude toward her disease helped all of us cope. So when an Ax Throwing party was 'thrown,'  it  seemed only natural for all of us to take out our frustrations  aiming our axes at a bull's eye picture of Cancer.

Everybody will attest to Sue's fierce competitive spirit- especially when you found out how many on-line Scrabble games she had going on all at once. 

Sue rarely was down. But eventually even the strongest gets tired and I knew a field trip was needed, something different. Thank goodness I had 2 options because the day of the excursion drizzle threatened the scrap metal sculpture garden option so we headed south. Sue started guessing places like a little kid, it was so funny. Every time I'd reply "No, that's not it,"  she'd try again. Fortunately it took her 20 miles to guess.  

It might be prudent for me to preface this field trip: Sue was given a nickname of 'Precious' and as she would remind everyone "Precious doesn't like to sweat," you knew being out of doors / living where I live in the middle of woods would not be her cup of tea. (I did hear about her 'glamping' experience but that was the extent of her desire after her kids's scouting days. ) 

OK, back to the field trip...Well, we finally arrived a little weary as it was a long car trip to somewhere she had never ever been before- a place touted "with the Best Hunting, Fishing, & Outdoor Gear by The World's Foremost Outfitter, a subsidiary of Bass Pro Shops,"

I had pre-arranged with the manager to give us the run of the place for a photo shoot starting out with her camouflage look. It was quite an adventure for Precious.

"Is camouflage my color?" she asked. 

Then, it was onto the aquarium where our fisherwoman geared herself  with just the right hat, vest and rod. 






Sure enough, there was a nibble.  






Sue's attention span could always be a bit challenging as off she went for another vehicle for a little more action... 

 Lookin' rugged indeed until she realized she didn't know where  where the brakes were!

On to deer hunting with just the perfect hunter's orange and spiffy camouflage vest for our gun toting deer hunter. 

"Has anybody seen that buck? "   

                                                     "It's so frustrating, he got away."



Time to drive on over to some water sports in a new hot ATV...

No worries, I've got this... Wait, does this boat have 4 wheel drive?

Isn't  this how you start the motor?

Paddlin' up the creek is going to take a while to get back home...

Whew, the manager arrived just in time, notifying us that Sue had been named 'Sportswoman of the Week'. Precious was one happy camper. She was even awarded her very own Cabela's hat.

 Oh Sue, you will be missed in so many ways by so many people, but never forgotten! 

                   Thanks for adding to all our life stories... 

*Here is the link to the shirt with Sue's handwriting. All proceeds will be donated to the La Crosse Historic Society: https://www.zazzle.com/be_a_kind_human_t_shirt-235354782213679869

"LANGUAGE OF THE UNHEARD"

Didn't we all learn early on about patriotism?  Flags waving, bands playing, politicians kissing babies... 

In fact, during a search for a particular photo I came across an article about me winning a city wide writing competition as a 7th grader about What American Patriotism Means to Me sponsored by the Little Rock and North Little Rock Chambers of Commerce.

My family had just returned from my Dad's sabbatical year where I had attended a German school and we had travelled throughout Europe from the northern scandinavian countries down into Yugoslavia, Bulgaria and Turkey. 

Bare with me while I share excerpts of my 12 year old version of patriotism... Of course, it began with the definition of patriotism: devotion to one's country. I did a paragraph with my family's background of being jewish, having a German mother who faced the hardships of war as a child in Germany and a father who served in the Navy in WWII. 
(Remember typewriters?)

It wasn't until the following summer when I turned 13 and was an exchange student in Mexico that I began to learn my country was far from perfect during even if I wasn't the one making U.S. policy, I did feel responsible.

It was the beginning of my education on colonialism. The stuff left out of our history books.  Our greed reigned over other people's livelihood whether it was land acquisition, training soldiers/ leaders for other countries,  due to NAFTA  the US grew corn so cheap, Mexican farmers starved and couldn't make a living and had either go to the city/ move here, we have tried to monopolize oil, poisoned well water with drilling, on and on... 

So my social consciousness towards injustice took a big learning curve as history filled in my 13 year old naivete, the understanding of my white privilege and that challenging the status quo is patriotic. The fact is we can be better...

The following youtube video may answer some important questions: Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man

   

MONDAY MUSINGS: I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW, CAN YOU?

Social distancing has been easier for some of us than others but we have and are continuing to find the benefits of spending a lot more time at home. We are witnessing others thinking life is back to normal but we are far from it... Eventually in this musing you will 'see' why.  

Finally after at least 3 years, we had some double pane window glass replaced. It was time since one was a kitchen sink window. Seriously, can you imagine having a gorgeous but fogged up view?

The date was carefully chosen for when Natureman would have one of his hospital all day'ers. There was very little need for the workman to be inside but still precautions had to be taken... Making sure masks would be worn and door handles and window cranks sanitized after the job was done, etc...

Let me tell you the new panes were so clear that the other windows's filth of dirt, cobwebs, insect and bird stuff were intolerable.  

Yesterday, even before Natureman was up and out weeding the vegetable garden, my day had started cleaning the 14 great room windows and screens. They wouldn't be as spotless as a professional but the end result had me in awe of the newly acquired 'crystal clear' views. 

An article in the N.Y. Times also gave some important insights with a survey by 511 epidemiologists of when they expect to fly, hug and do 18 other everyday activities again. ( An epidemiologist is: " a person who studies or is an expert in the branch of medicine which deals with the incidence, distribution, and possible control of diseases") 

It's definitely worth your time to look at their responses with regard to this summer, 3 to 12 months, one year/ never again...

Largest values in each group are highlighted. Figures are rounded.

Activities they said they might start doing soon...

	THIS SUMMER	3 TO 12 MOS.	1 YR.+	NEVER AGAIN
Bring in mail without precautions (n = 379)	64	16	17	3
See a doctor for a nonurgent appointment (507)	60	29	11	<1
Vacation overnight within driving distance (372)	56	26	18	<1
Get a haircut at a salon or barber shop (485)	41	39	19	1

	THIS SUMMER	3 TO 12 MOS.	1 YR.+	NEVER AGAIN
Attend a small dinner party (n = 509)	32	46	21	<1
Hike or picnic outdoors with friends (506)	31	41	27	<1
Send kids to school, camp or day care (304)	30	55	15	<1
Work in a shared office (434)	27	54	18	1
Send children on play dates (272)	23	47	29	1
Ride a subway or a bus (408)	20	40	39	1
Visit elderly relative or friend in their home (485)	20	41	39	<1
Travel by airplane (512)	20	44	37	<1
Eat at a dine-in restaurant (506)	16	56	28	<1
Exercise at a gym or fitness studio (406)	14	42	40	4

Maybe a year or more...

	THIS SUMMER	3 TO 12 MOS.	1 YR.+	NEVER AGAIN
Attend a wedding or a funeral (n = 501)	17	41	42	<1
Hug or shake hands when greeting a friend (503)	14	39	42	6
Go out with someone you don't know well (363)	14	42	42	2
Attend a church or other religious service (220)	13	43	43	2
Stop routinely wearing a face covering (513)	7	40	52	1
Attend a sporting event, concert or play (489	3	32	64

If these responses don't help you see things more clearly, there will be many more of us being affected by Covid 19.

Here's the link to the entire article: NY TIMES: EPIDEMIOLOGIST SURVEY

 Even if you don't have a garden to weed you might want to find some other ways of filling your days...

Be safe and see clearly...