Our 89 yr old Father for the last 21/2 years has been the caregiver for our Mom who has a progressive eye disease. Until a doctor's visit this week we, her family, didn't know it was progressive. If our father knew, he hadn't shared that piece of important information. So now the 15% sight left in the one good eye has decreased. With the loss of sight, brain memories have replaced reality and created their own reality with various types of hallucinations. Days and nights have been interchanged and it has taken its toll on our Dad. Of course it would, even on a much younger person. He had kept this a secret.
I don't live in the same town much less state so it was a phone conversation last week where the stress and exhaustion were audible and evident. It was time for intervention and we all knew it wouldn't be easy.
Essentially when you get to this stage there are really only 2 plans, Plan A and Plan B. Plan A is to stay in their home of 60+ years with help coming in shifts for both days and nights/ plan B is to go to assisted living. The folks had expressed their desire to stay in their home as long as possible a couple years back and we as their children do want to honor and respect that wish but not at the expense of one/the other parent. We had encouraged them to check out senior living facilities in town which they have visited.
Starting last night the first of many steps was made as a nightly professional caregiver stayed at their home. Fingers are crossed that this will eventually give our Dad the necessary sleep he so desperately needs to regain some strength and also make some more good important decisions together with our Mother. Cleaning help has been hired but more is needed as physical efforts will be needed elsewhere. Baby steps are better than no steps at all, right?
Daytime help is next and we, their kids, dread those calls to notify us of serious falls. They both had a spill this past Tuesday. Luckily, a neighbor saw their demise and came to assist them. All we can do is NUDGE heavily but sooner rather than later we will have to dictate. Hopefully they will come to the choices themselves for extra assistance... Time is not on our side.
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| Folks enjoying sitting out in their backyard yesterday enjoying some sunshine |
