Yesterday was a tough day for my family as my 85 year old Mother entered a nursing home. My brothers and I have known for a while that our Father needed to come to this decision. It has been heart wrenching watching her mental and physical health take a downward spiral these past months and the effect it has also had on our Dad's health.
Blindness will not make her adjustment any easier in the new environs on an Alzheimer's ward. The immediate concern is her lack of appetite. Her refusal to eat what our Dad prepared per her requests frustrated him to no end. Alas, this is just part of the disease. We couldn't convince him to let others take over chores such as cooking and have more coverage during the day as he insisted he could do it. This new care arrangement will be a big adjustment for both of them.
With dementia one never knows how much the individual really is in the present. My youngest brother probably had the last real coherent conversation with her at a birthday lunch on November 14th. Since then, conversations deal with the past/imaginary situations and even in her native German tongue/ gibberish. Lack of sleep with day and night reversal add to the confusion. Denial doesn't help so one has to become very creative in playing along but trying to be respectful and truthful at the same time. She has been insisting that she wanted to go home even though she was home. Now she really won't be home...
Our hopes are to be blessed with trained staff that can make her days easier... as for our Dad we hope that he will now take better care of himself. Good health can never be overrated...
With dementia one never knows how much the individual really is in the present. My youngest brother probably had the last real coherent conversation with her at a birthday lunch on November 14th. Since then, conversations deal with the past/imaginary situations and even in her native German tongue/ gibberish. Lack of sleep with day and night reversal add to the confusion. Denial doesn't help so one has to become very creative in playing along but trying to be respectful and truthful at the same time. She has been insisting that she wanted to go home even though she was home. Now she really won't be home...
Our hopes are to be blessed with trained staff that can make her days easier... as for our Dad we hope that he will now take better care of himself. Good health can never be overrated...
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| Taken a year ago... |
Beautifully written, Karen
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