VACAY, Kind of, Not Exactly...

I did something I don't usually do, I took a self paid week's vacation from writing my blog. You know it's the same pay I get when I write my daily entries. Alas, I found little energies at each day's end to process the day's events and I am still processing to tell you the truth...

As 'charming' as it may sound to you city dwellers to have farm animals, it's not easy for both of us to leave as those animals need to be fed. Fortunately for this trip South Natureman could accompany me, thanks to son Simon having a concert nearby enabling him to housesit with the End of the Rainbow Valley animals. Natureman's calming way, moral support and presence was so appreciated in this difficult visit home.

If you caught my last entry I had written about my anticipation of an emotional journey home to Arkansas to visit my Mom in her new environs, a nursing home on an Alzheimer's floor. The initial step off the elevator was not really much different than the gloom my brother had painted. The floor's residents were sitting in their wheel chairs in front of the nurses's station each in their own worlds. There too sat my Mom but she was facing the wall talking to no one, moving her hands reaching for her non existent cup of coffee. I pushed back the tears as I approached, forcing an extra chipper tone of greeting "Hi Mom sorry we're late."


*Let me digress: Yep, the previous day's supposed 5 hour travel started with a mechanical difficulty(translated canceled flight) which ended up sending us cross country: a 3 hr bus trip north to Minneapolis, eastward flight to Atlanta and a final leg back westward to Little Rock. Too bad the 14 hour journey didn't have a longer lay over in Atlanta to visit daughter Lori!

Anyhoo, the beauty of being late a day didn't faze my Mom as she smiled as I kissed her, she added "Well, it's good to see you." Ironic for a woman who has lost her sight completely. Yet as I would come to realize this past week, a blessing for her present circumstances. She couldn't see what I saw. Surrounding us were many, mostly women just shells of their former selves. One just doesn't know what is being internalized and not verbalized. 

Throughout the visit there were good/lucid moments and not so good days. One is thankful for those better days/moments because who knows when/how often they might occur... 

One highlight was when my high school friend Chris insisted on meeting me at the nursing home. Her Mom had spent her last months on the very same floor with many of the same staff. During our visit together we heard piano music. Since Mom was up for some music we wheeled her down the hall and there at the piano sat one of the residents, a woman whom I had observed always dozing in her wheel chair clutching her red purse. But she wasn't sleeping now, in fact, when she noticed she had an appreciative audience, she asked for requests. 

the red purse lady

There atop the piano besides her red purse was a 100 Favorite Pop song book and after Chris opened it to a page, not only did the resident proceed to play but kept playing each page thereafter as we and others sang along for almost an hour. Mom hummed, sang a bit and tapped her feet.  Research says 'music' is not forgotten for those suffering Alzheimer's and fortunately there's daily musical programming, planned/not planned as in this case at this nursing home.

One morning my Mom repeatedly spoke of playing Russian music in the previous day's concert. Hmmm. Folks had congratulated her for playing so well and she didn't think she was 'that' good. Now since my Mom learned to play 6 instruments as a child whether or not this was a real past memory, who cares? It certainly gave her conversational material.  

And any conversation even if not a lot is something to be thankful for right now, a window into what my Mom is thinking.

               Important conversation to follow. Stay tuned...