Still Alice/Still My Mom/Still Us?

There's one thing you can be assured of if you have a loved one with Alzheimer's and that is you will be emotionally spent after viewing the award winning performance of Julianne Moore in Still Alice. I certainly was. The credits were still rolling and I was still sitting there trying to collect myself and stop the tears. There wasn't much I didn't relate to since my Mom has what's classified as Early Alzheimer's albeit not Early On Set as in the film.

The afflicted and their entire family suffer the loss of a once very independent bright active person and the increasing anxiety, fear and sadness that accompany that loss. Family members have varying opinions as to the best way to deal in their attempts to "be helpful." 

This past week wasn't a good one for my Mom as she fell twice.  Originally, I only heard about one of those falls where she was found disoriented behind her door again and a bump on her head. She ends up there a lot. Her facility doesn't have those bed alarms which sound when the patient gets out of bed. Yet being blind and confused compounds this falling possibility. "Being lost" is common for this disease. The second fall involved some combative behavior as she didn't want oxygen and stood up, pulling the tubes out and fell while pushing the aide away. My brother said she looks like she's been in a fight. Still my Mom? 

It's difficult to know when to call. The floor phone is at the nurse's station where the patients are parked in their wheel chairs. I try calling at different times of the day and it is hit and miss as to her clarity. She doses a lot. (If you think about it it has to be soooo boring just sitting there.) Deciphering her conversations as real/ fiction are sometimes more challenging than others. Repetition is a given. I can imagine the ever increasing 'vacant' look. But call I must no matter what her state of mind is, she is Still My Mom...

Julianne Moore was so right in her Oscar acceptance speech about the need to educate society about Alzheimer's and put monies toward its research. It's too late for my Mom but hopefully not too late for so many other families who might not have to suffer this neurological disease called Alzheimer's. We are living longer as a society and some form of dementia is a given. But let's face it, we will be Still Us.

STILL ALICE TRAILER