Don't Mess with a Heifer...

A visit to dairy farm in 2012 - Diane's on the far left

My Jazzerbuddy Diane came to coffee today with quite a cow story.  Actually our exercise group has visited her  dairy farm a couple of times...

10 day olds

We all know that it's Diane who's responsible for the calves.     

Through the cold winter she bottle feeds each one among all her other chores.  So she 'really' knows her herd. There are always problem children, calves that have difficulty taking a bottle and  she feels it was one of those very same ones that this story concerns.  

Diane's story took place while she was in with the 20 some 2-year old heifers to give them feed. Usually she enters through a door but winter froze that particular door shut. It's quite a balancing act walking on semi frozen dung... Use your imagination as the ice layer crunches with each step and your boot sometimes stays atop/ enters the muck.  That being said, Diane explained it's important not to spook the group as they could stampede and most important of all you don't want to turn your back on them. She had taken the usual precautions when out of nowhere a heifer must have head butted her as all of a sudden she was flung against the wind barrier wall. She tried to climb the wall but the heifer continued rearing its head upward, Diane kicked her assailant in an attempt to dissuade but alas the pregnant heifer was relentless. Diane managed both with momentum of the butts and her own kicks to propel herself up over the wall. Yet the pen's gate was still some 20 odd feet away for her to be out of the next barbed wire holding pen and there coming 'round the bend was that heifer. Diane somehow managed to escape through the metal gate even as the heifer continued to pursue her snorting all the while. 

The theory is that that particular heifer has some affinity for Diane's husband as the heifer always rubs against him and he thinks it's funny so he rubs her back.  ( BTW there are no bulls on this dairy farm. )

Men BEWARE: NEVER, ever mess with any heifer, much less a pregnant one. 

Diane was darn lucky to have escaped with only bruises and a sprained ankle. We all said it was her Jazzercise that helped her be so limber. Heck, these dairy farm wives are some pretty tough cookies...  I have to wonder if they will be having steak tonight, just saying.